She’s a Georgia fan. But still, coming to Auburn, she thought life would be easier. Not just because she’d enjoy the best student-centered engineering experience in America. But because she wouldn’t have to explain it. She wouldn’t have to have all the back-and-forth. When the professor called roll — do they still do that? — she could just say “it’s actually pronounced like the stadium.” When the Chick-fil-A window dude did a double take at the receipt to make sure he had it right, she could just say “yeah, but it’s like the coach.”
But, friends, that aspect of life hasn’t gotten easier! No, such is the state of Auburn society, even our youth — or at least most that Birmingham-born Jordan Nakayama have met in the year she’s been here — are criminally unlearned in our traditions, our culture, our (former) folkways. And her struggle cries out for the desperate need for revival. So, break out the old media guides! Break out the old Methodist hymnals! Crank up the podcast! Walk a mile in (soon-ish-to-be) Dr. Nakayama’s shoes. And then tell your friends — if it’s pronounced Jordan, it’s pronounced Jordan.