Saturday night, long about 7:45 east-Alabama time, after the ESPN talking heads have done their best to stretch 90 seconds of information into an agonizingly redundant recap of everything we know about the just-past college football season, Cam Newton is going to win the Heisman Trophy.

After a season of turning to the giants of poetry for inspiration, Tuesday’s ruling on Cam Newton’s eligibility has a giddy Amorak looking for a something he can dance to, so he borrowed from a classic little number by They Might Be Giants.

I hope to hear the Tide buzz – before it dies –
the silence in Bryant-Denny
will be the sweetest sound of all –
punctuated by the shouts of Cam.

This week’s installment is in the manner of Robert Burns (Kodi’s Scottish great-great-great-great grandfather?).
Wee, sleek, cowering, timorous beast, O, what panic in your drool!
You need not woof and whine, As you flee the Plains.
We promise not to chase you
With our mighty offensive weapons.

This week, it’s Wallace Stevens offering solace:
XI.
If you are not prepared
to have your heart broken
you should never fall in love in the first place.

Double, double toil and trouble; The offense rules, the secondary struggles.
In Malzahn’s cauldron boil and bake / Legs of McCalebb, spin of Blake,
Bulk of Ziemba, hands of Darvin,
Syllables of Lutzenkirchen.

This week, he turns to Lewis Carroll for inspiration for obvious reasons.
Playing a game against LSU can certainly feel like going through a looking glass.

“There has to be an easier way to win.
Yes, in the end, the W’s all that matters.
But just once, say, this particular Saturday, with
so much on the line, can Auburn start fast – then finish faster?”
… surely The Bard was an Auburn fan.

Nope, still not Jerry. Yup, Auburn is still undefeated. And, hey, bowl eligible too! That might seem like no big deal, a feat far short of our expectations for 2010. But it speaks incredibly well of this coaching staff that only 22 months after the wreckage that was the conclusion of the 2008 season — [...]

This week, Amorak Huey turns to “Kubla Khan” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge for inspiration.
It was Coleridge who coined the term “suspension of disbelief,” a handy phrase when discussing Kentucky football, n’est-ce pas?