The Bachelor is over. Well, not technically. Technically it will still stream across the dome of America, over the Mesa Verde, and into your DVR. But the only real reason to watch the show–Ashley S., our Ashley S.– is gone. She’s off. She’s over it. And she feels… NOTHING.
(Can’t see the video? Try here.)
Unlike last week, the “most talked about girl on the show” was actually seen this episode. She got some alone time with Chris “Prince Farming” Soules, outside at night again, and she of course took the opportunity to ask him, “what are you?”
She also said, and I quote, “???”
This time, she was completely preoccupied not with the onions or the Mesa Verde, but with the moon (like the ancients).
“Look at the moon. That’s so weird to me. And we’re sitting here. Like, that’s weird to me.”
It IS weird.
Soules responds by saying something about the moon or the sunset in Iowa or something. And then… Ashley kisses that lucky dog. It’s not a peck, but it’s not gross. And then she does it again. He just kind of smiles. No sudden moves.
“Ashley S. is entertaining, but, like, possessed, crazy, and totally out of it at the same time,” fellow contestant Kaitlyn tells the camera. “You know when you, like, see a scary movie and there’s the person who is like ‘it’s OK, everything’s OK.’ I’m like, ‘I’m scared of you.’ I’m a little scared for Chris.”
“I don’t think Ashley S. is here for the right reasons, because I don’t even know if she knows where here is.”
Funnily enough, her final episode was the one in which Ashley seemed to come the closest to knowing where here was, and for half a second, it seemed as if she actually wanted to stay there.
Ashley actually tells Soules she likes him, that she really feels that way. And that she really hopes that “resonates in his mind all night long.” But he doesn’t have to say anything in response to that.
Thankfully for her — and for us, if the producers have sense enough to immediately sign her up for spin off — he doesn’t.
Her other roseless housemates leave teary-eyed, confused, devastated.
Ashley S. walks out, empowered and with a smile on her face and a song in her heart (it sounds like a hoot owl).
“”I am who I am,” the 2012 Auburn grad says, laughing. “I’m not worried about me. I’m not worried about me at all.”
More Auburn Folks On Reality Show stuff:
* Cast member not allowed to wear Auburn shirt on History Channel’s ‘Bamazon’
* ‘Survivor’ contestant Krista Klumpp tells all; former AU cheerleader says LSU bad boy Russell thinks Auburn is ‘the best school of all time’
* ‘Amazing Race’ contestant Brittany Fletcher no stranger to television—watch the Auburn grad win ‘The Price Is Right’ on her 18th birthday
* Bama fan refuses to remove ‘Go to hell Auburn’ sticker on TLC’s ‘On The Fly’