Bluebell is the most progressive place in millennial make-believe Alabama, maybe the world. Except when it comes to one thing… still…
No—I’m not talking about race. That’s what the Hart of Dixie writers wanted new viewers to think when the father of Annabeth Nash learned on last week’s episode that his daughter, who is white, is dating Lavon Hayes, who is black. However, longtime HOD fans know that interracial romance matter-of-factly abounds on the show. So why all the drama? Because the sustained stain on Bluebell’s soul is football intolerance.
Annabeth, granddaughter of Hubert Thibodaux, who was apparently the quarterback on Auburn’s 1957 national championship team, is “Auburn royalty.” Lavon “is Bama through and through.”
Of course, Annabeth’s ex-husband Jake was a big Bama fan, too, so big he couldn’t even get his mind off Auburn’s defense during sex (you know the type). Lavon, however, isn’t just a fan—he was a star linebacker for the Crimson Tide once upon an unspecified time. And despite all the hope and change promised by the unity tree that was never planted, Annabeth is convinced that Bluebell simply does not exist in a post-rival America.
So imagine her and Lavon’s surprise when her Dye-hard parents show up to smoke the peace pig with the team-colors blind couple… in Bama jerseys—Lavon’s jersey, actually. And seem interested in the potency of Bama’s hurry-up offense. (Yes, yes, they got their facts wrong on that… but not the refs being in the Tide’s pocket during the 2009 Iron Bowl. We all know the biggest star of The Drive was Benjamin Franklin.).
It’s all politics, of course. Ma and Pa Nash just want their tiger cub married… again. And hey, he may be a Bama fan, but he’s also rich, and just happens to be mayor of Bluebell—thanks to Annabeth!
From what I can tell from the rivalry-rich episodes I skim through (because somebody has to), Annabeth and Lavon got together when she was campaigning for him (because she had a crush on him). Lavon’s reelection hopes had taken a hit when he was accused of losing business for the town like he lost Iron Bowls for Bama. (He was blocked in the back. “The replay was very clear.”) So in order to right the ship, he resorts to the drastic measure of fake-dating Annabeth in hopes of securing the votes of the Beaudries, a 22-member strong Auburn family that throws its War Eagle weight around Bluebell social circles.
Hope the inevitable wedding episode goes something like this.
Eagle Eye Award: Kathleen Bright.
* Human pyramid at Toomer’s Corner!
* War Eagle Moment at the SAG Awards
* Twisted Metal developer is an Auburn fan
* TWER interviews Paul Finebaum about Bo Jackson’s Heisman campaign
* “My wife was the Auburn Tiger.”
* John Travolta in an Auburn shirt
* The Auburn Eyefuls of 1952
* I Survived the Kopper Kettle Explosion and all I got was this t-shirt
* “Cougar Town” star gets Glom’ed
* Auburn-educated astronaut wanted ‘War Eagle’ to be first words on the moon