Carol Hartsell, Senior Comedy Editor for the Huffington Post, wants Leonardo DiCaprio to come over to her Harlem apartment Saturday. She needs someone to be an Auburn fan with.
Hartsell, a 1997 Auburn grad, wrote an open letter to the A (for Auburn) Lister, published Wednesday morning on the Huffington Post, as an invitation to an “inevitable friendship” because, like we all did when we saw the photos, she felt as if she “had, in fact, discovered a long-lost brother.”
(Now, before you write to tell Hartsell that maybe Leo “just likes hats“, you have to at least admit there’s a very good chance he likes the Auburn hat the best, or at that the very least that it gets more attention. Last week’s public display of Auburn affection wasn’t his first, and we’re so sure it won’t be the last we already have a “Leonardo DiCaprio shows off Auburn chest tat on the Red Carpet” post saved as a draft.)
“In the simplest of terms, I think you and I are exactly alike in practically every way,” Hartsell writes. “We both live in New York City. We both like Auburn (I went to school there and have been going to games at Jordan-Hare stadium since I was a toddler… you have a hat). We both enjoy biking. We both wear cargo shorts even though every single other person in the world thinks they’re stupid. You were in Blood Diamond and I want one.”
The she gets down to specifics: Her. Leo. Her 80″ screen TV. Auburn football. This Saturday.
“I’ll make homemade salsa, we’ll have some “Gatsby” cocktails (it’ll be our little “insider’s” joke) and we’ll root the Tigers on to victory. We’ll be like old pals, mixing it up. I’ll rib you about having never actually gone to Auburn. You’ll laugh at me for not being in every single Martin Scorsese movie.”
Hartsell isn’t just thinking of herself. She thinks football fellowship with DiCaprio will have profoundly positive ramifications for the entire Auburn family.
“I await our best-friendship/brotherhood with a glorious sense of anticipation,” she writes in conclusion. “Moreover, I think the power of our finally meeting will propel Auburn to an undefeated season and a national title. The world will thank us… and it will be right to. War Eagle!”
You can read the entire letter here.
h/t Christopher Haveman.
* Big Boi, Auburn fan
* Fun details of Auburn’s 1896 prank on Georgia Tech
* One of the Wiggles is an Auburn fan
* The sexy Auburn grad student in ‘House’
* Wall Street Journal says Auburn football worth millions more than Alabama football
* Auburn professor 4th hottest in the country
* Auburn Playboy shoot at Chewacla during power outage
* Glee star Naya Rivera wears Auburn shirt in FHM photo shoot
* The giant card Tampa Bay fans sent to Bo Jackson