Even though it’s real, we thought the Institute of Exploding Dog Studies would be the the first non football-related Auburn news item to make The Onion, too. But nope, it’s the groundbreaking “banana brain” work being done by Auburn zoologists to explore neurological similarities between ape and man.
According to a new study published Monday by zoologists at Auburn University, the neurological framework of an ape is in fact incredibly close to that of a human being who is obsessed with bananas. “Though their brain size and specific cerebral functions differ, apes share a striking and uncanny common neurological bond with humans who spend the vast majority of their waking life thinking about bananas,” said lead researcher Dr. Leonard Franklin, adding that the pleasure center in the frontal cortex of both a banana-obsessed human and an ape light up almost identically at the mere sight of even a picture of a ripe, yellow banana.
Franklin said the pupils in both ape and banana-crazed humans will dilate like crazy when targeting a ripe banana, and that both will grunt excitedly as they “wildly swat at the fruit in an attempt to grab and eat it.”
America’s Finest News Source also suggested Auburn could possibly soon begin exploring links between “chimpanzees who are riddled with constant anxiety and depression.”
* Coke was first sold in Auburn!
* Don Knotts, Auburn student
* Former AU homecoming queen starring in HBO’s ‘The Newsroom’
* Bama fan legislator introduced bill to abolish Auburn University in 1973
* Auburn wore green jerseys… for two seasons
* Gus Malzahn, 1989
* Jeff Foxworthy walking around Auburn