The “meanest person in the world” is back in town, back in court this morning. It’s his new hearing or something but since his mustache allegedly terrorized a Lowe’s with a lawnmower his bond has been revoked or whatever, and Elva is wandering the Justice Center parking lot and Bear’s on first and Saban’s on second and the trees are still stick figures and GOD MAKE IT STOP.
That’s the gist of The Plainsman’s latest Updykitorial, the accompanying cartoon for which, the longer you look at it and think about the thought that might have gone into it (OK, how do we capture the spirit of the Updyke case as it now stands…let’s just have him—don’t forget the new mustache—sitting dejectedly by a butchered oak with his lawnmower like some sort of nightmarishishly ironic Giving Tree kind of thing) really brings out the pathos.
If they’d waited a day, the could have had the tree saying “But what do YOU think…”
Related: Plainsman artist imagines Updyke’s punishment.
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I know the school has plans for the oaks should they become terminal, but a part of me would like Harvey sentenced to be chained to them, a la Robert De Niro in ‘The Mission,’ and to carry them with him as penance.
I think the trees should be taken to make louisville sluggers out of and one should be given to every Auburn fan for when this guy gets out of prison.
They need to put the tree to good use and string the bastard up in his best roll tide wife beater t-shirt!