All this talk about the Auburn merchandise you see in Asia just being factory rejects recycled by a swelling populace that doesn’t really care what it’s driving or wearing? Talk to the hand, dude—her hand, the Korean girl with the closet full of orange and blue sweatshirts that make up the “Auburnzaka” tween clothing collection or something, and that are apparently perfect for both cuddling up with Teddy and stylin’ through a nut cafe, or just profilin’ in exposed brick wall lofts (a gameday must at TWER HQ).
You can find the collection on TaoBao.com, aka the Chinese eBay, or directly from Sonyuara.com, aka the Korean J&M. And you should, because Asian ad copy is renowned for its poetic-ish syntax when tackling English, and the Auburnzaka catalog doesn’t disappoint: “LOOK AT THIS. The sun will shed light a low light level in the ocean and me and it will be extensive and it thinks. buy The American one moonlight will be floating above the spring water and me it will be extensive and it thinks.”
War Eagle—Oliver Goldsmith ain’t never done better.