When it comes to fictional soldier of fortunes connected to your alma mater, there’s always at least one bad apple.
Auburn’s Red Not-So-Delicious is Carson Moss.
If you know anything about Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell, you’re likely familiar with Mr. Moss, a main antagonist in the Double Agent installment of the video game series. Apparently he’s the only surviving bigwig of some sort of domestic terrorist organization called John Brown’s Army.
But what you might not know unless you’re a bookmarked-the-Splinter Cell-wiki-page level gamer is that before Moss started fighting the United States of America for JBA, he apparently almost fought the SEC for the Auburn Tigers.
[Moss] was born January 19, 1968 in Dothan, AL. Played high school football and was offered a scholarship to Auburn before tearing up his knee. Dropped out of college and worked in private security. Implicated in a series of racially motivated beatings but never arrested. Met Emile Dufraisne in 1996 and has remained fanatically loyal ever since. One of the original members of the JBA. Single, never married. Hints at military experience but never served in any branch of the US Armed Forces. Racist, bullying and jealous of Dufraisne’s attention. Strong sadistic tendencies, particularly toward those he perceives as weaker than himself.
It might have been nice to harness those sadistic tendencies against Bill Curry’s Army in the late 80s. But the racism, bullying, and, you know, terrorism? Well, thank God for weak, fictional ACL’s.
h/t Mr. Downing.
Related: Twisted Metal developer is an Auburn fan.
* Lee Ziemba’s new tattoo
* 1994 Playboy photo shoot in Jordan-Hare
* Natalie Rivera, star of Glee, wears Auburn shirt in Maxim photo spread
* The Iron Bowl according to Big Fish
* Wonder Woman, Joan from Mad Men, Dr. Girlfriend… all Auburn fans
* Auburn’s first nude model tells all
* Star of Best Worst Movie won’t let you piss on Cam Newton