Campus Newton is a collaborative column (and podcast) by Alex Miller and Justin Lee, two Auburn students giving you an eye to the life and times on the Plains in 2012. Well, Alex is at home in Birmingham for the summer. But still.
After the resounding success of our first exploration into the Auburn airwaves, it only made sense that we return to signal searching on the streets of the city once again to find out more about our neighbors and community. Like our first venture, we discovered even more movie references and personal messages that proud Auburn citizens click every time they log on to the world wide web. Like plastic political yard signs and fantasy football team names, network names are the ways in which everyone can leave their mark, broadcasting whatever they feel to every neighbor and smartphone-bearing guest.
This time we traveled to the Opelika Road-ish side of town, picking up signals from several close-to-campus apartment complexes, most notably (on a good
nip tip) Creekside (or as at least one wireless resident calls it, Fratside), which is evidently home to celebs Morgan Freeman, Kevin Bacon, Peyton Manthing (YES!) and (the other) Kenny Rogers—at least that’s who we’re assuming is catching waves from Cecil Newton’s Traphouse. God, it was a gold mine (more like Freak Side).
Here are the best few, or at least the censored few, that we could publish, below.
Fearless and True
War Damn Champs
War Damn Internet 2
War Damn Internet 5
The toomer ladies have aids*
Same with the nerds:
To Infinity and Beyond
A series of tubes
These were more classic examples of diversion tactics, when password-protecting your signal just isn’t enough:
FBI Surveillance Van 12
Linksys Keg (reverse psychology!)
There are your aforementioned celebrities:
The Real Larry Birds
OJ and BBQ
Tyler’s Awesome Wifi (left off the “Perry”)
Refrigerator (forgot the “Perry”)
Oh, and we may have finally found those Forestry majors:
And the vet school vets. Maybe.
Dove Love & Panda Hugs
We also found some aspiring art majors, (words aren’t enough for porn addicts):
And I think you’ll be able to tell which of these next ones we also found at Creekside:
Polo and Pearls
Club 1218 24/7/365
Ham is gay
The Wild Thangs
However, eventually it got to a point where it was hard to put any of them together in one category. It was hard to imagine all of them lived within range of each other, actually:
Sh*t n sparkles
Too Fly for My Wifi
… and lastly, and most yesly, Cecil Newton’s Traphouse. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.
* Please keep the Toomer ladies in your thoughts and prayers.
* Lee Ziemba’s new tattoo
* 1994 Playboy photo shoot in Jordan-Hare
* Natalie Rivera, star of Glee, wears Auburn shirt in Maxim photo spread
* The Iron Bowl according to Big Fish
* Wonder Woman, Joan from Mad Men, Dr. Girlfriend… all Auburn fans
* Auburn’s first nude model tells all
* Star of Best Worst Movie won’t let you piss on Cam Newton