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Cam and Co. as Russian nesting dolls

Sure, of course —it was all just Cam Newton. He was just some sort of Megaman Malzahnian Marsupial who carried Darvin and McCalebb and Terrell and Emory and the entire freakin’ team in his ginormous blessed bosom from Arkansas State to Glendale…

You expect that kind of mentality from the Thayers and Thamels and Finebaums. I just didn’t expect it from the Ruskies.

Actually, I didn’t expect any of this… but, yes, after seeing “Jason Campball,” and now The Blessed Matryoshka, it appears those capitalist pigs have created a niche industry by double-tapping the buying bone of the American football fan with standard Soviet souvenir kitsch slapped with their team’s logo. Genius, comrades, genius. I want them.

Photos by Morgan Brown.

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