Auburn truism: There’s the Greeks and the non-Greeks. Another truism: Each side feels superior to the other. Yet another truism: If you attack either herd, be prepared to suffer its petulant, misplaced rage.
Two weeks ago, Auburn journalism major and Plainsman staffer Kelly Tsaltas, a freshman from Knoxville, deemed it her duty to carpet bomb the Greek multitude, curb-stomp its corpse, and flip it the bird as she slow-motioned shimmied into the night. She gave them the ol’ one-two to their exposed flank — the non-mandatory, mandatory dress code.
From The Plainsman:
Really? It’s 30 degrees outside, you might want to consider buying some pants. I promise your Nike shorts won’t disappear in the drawer over the winter. The Nike gods will not smite you for leaving them in your dresser for more than a day. They’ll still be there in summer, when it’s actually appropriate to wear them.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this trend is the amount of clothing it requires on the lower half. Underwear + Hose + Nike shorts (that have built in underwear)? That’s way too many layers for that area! Let it breeeeathe, ladies!
. . .
You boys really like your visors. You wear visors when it rains, when it’s cloudy, and if there was a tornado, the winds would take your life before you let them take your visor. If you keep this up, you will get a reverse bald spot. NOT. ATTRACTIVE.
Another puzzling Frat Boy fashion statement is the “croakie and sunglasses” look… all the time. It was definitely cloudy almost every day last week, and you boys still had your sunglasses hanging from your neck. I guess that would come in handy if the sun decided to make a three second surprise appearance. Then you could throw your sunglasses on and be all, “Bitch, yes! I prepared for this!” or something equally obnoxious.
There’s more. Her column received 96,000+ views, 41 comments (before comments were disabled), and 1,377 Facebook “likes”. There was so much response, both positive and negative, that The Plainsman felt the need to run an editorial addressing the attacks, some of which were of the personal “throw yourself off the Haley Center” variety.
Silly squabbles like these are exactly why Auburn should re-institute a dress code.
Photo via The Plainsman
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I agree that some sort of dress code should be instituted. What some students wear to class these days borders on the obscene. It’s true that there’s no accounting for taste, but common sense should prevail when the temps hover around freezing and sleet is falling!
I’m embarrassed that some of these folks chose Auburn.
It’s called natural selection. If they want to catch their death of cold, we will all be better off from weeding out the f-tard allele form the gene pool.
I have to defend the “croakie and sunglasses” deal…. I wear prescription sun glasses – they ain’t cheap. Easiest way to keep up with them is having them hang from our neck. I catch grief from it from some people – but I don’t loose them, Its not a fashion statement – its a way not to have to buy more from leaving them laying on the restaurant’s table…. And I haven’t been in a fraternity in 30 years… And I have had the same pair for the last 3.
I really liked the column. Really really liked it.
I’m just glad that the Plainsman is such a pioneer in the field of journalism that their response article includes the new word “directful.” I’m not sure if this is a homemade portmanteau of “directly hurtful” or what, but good job making up words.
I don’t get the NIKE shorts in frigid weather, but then again I wore Topsiders sockless with a nylon windbreaker, featuring my sorority letters, in freezing temps during the late 70’s! Sorry to see this column incite hatefulness between Greeks & independents. Auburn has always been a nice change of pace from the oppressive Greek atmosphere of the Unv. of Alabama.
let it breeeathe