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Greek fashion under aTsaltas

Auburn truism: There’s the Greeks and the non-Greeks. Another truism: Each side feels superior to the other. Yet another truism: If you attack either herd, be prepared to suffer its petulant, misplaced rage.

Two weeks ago, Auburn journalism major and Plainsman staffer Kelly Tsaltas, a freshman from Knoxville, deemed it her duty to carpet bomb the Greek multitude, curb-stomp its corpse, and flip it the bird as she slow-motioned shimmied into the night. She gave them the ol’ one-two to their exposed flank — the non-mandatory, mandatory dress code.

From The Plainsman:

Really? It’s 30 degrees outside, you might want to consider buying some pants. I promise your Nike shorts won’t disappear in the drawer over the winter. The Nike gods will not smite you for leaving them in your dresser for more than a day. They’ll still be there in summer, when it’s actually appropriate to wear them.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this trend is the amount of clothing it requires on the lower half. Underwear + Hose + Nike shorts (that have built in underwear)? That’s way too many layers for that area! Let it breeeeathe, ladies!

. . .

You boys really like your visors. You wear visors when it rains, when it’s cloudy, and if there was a tornado, the winds would take your life before you let them take your visor. If you keep this up, you will get a reverse bald spot. NOT. ATTRACTIVE.

Another puzzling Frat Boy fashion statement is the “croakie and sunglasses” look… all the time. It was definitely cloudy almost every day last week, and you boys still had your sunglasses hanging from your neck. I guess that would come in handy if the sun decided to make a three second surprise appearance. Then you could throw your sunglasses on and be all, “Bitch, yes! I prepared for this!” or something equally obnoxious.

There’s more. Her column received 96,000+ views, 41 comments (before comments were disabled), and 1,377 Facebook “likes”. There was so much response, both positive and negative, that The Plainsman felt the need to run an editorial addressing the attacks, some of which were of the personal “throw yourself off the Haley Center” variety.

Silly squabbles like these are exactly why Auburn should re-institute a dress code.

Photo via The Plainsman

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