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Objection! Oregon fan makes indecent proposal

Metrosexual Duck fan seeks AU Alumna with low self-esteem, spontaneity.

Desperation is often accompanied by bravado. For instance, newbie lawyer and Oregon Ducks fan Ryan Tharp has posted in ad on Craigslist detailing his hope to marry an Auburn fan in a quickie Vegas wedding after the national championship game – regardless of who wins. Loser has to pay the annulment fees the following day.

Fact: January 10th, 2011 the Oregon Ducks will crush the Auburn Tigers.

It’s true…and I’m willing to bet on it. In fact, I’m so confident in the Duck’s kickass ability, that I would wager my most prized possession: my first marriage. That’s right. You can be the first woman I walk down the aisle with, my first I Do, and the first woman to be Mrs. Ryan Tharp. However, as always, there is a catch. I am 25-years old, I love life, love to travel, love my Ducks, and am in no way, shape, or form ready for any sort of committed anything. Accordingly, our marriage will need to be annulled the next day. That’s where the bet comes in.

I, along with several buddies, will be celebrating the Duck victory in Vegas from January 11th-14th. During that extravaganza, I plan on taking in the entire Vegas experience, including marrying a stranger. If you are cute enough, spontaneous enough, and an all around cool chick….let’s get hitched. Loser of the bet has to pay the annulment costs. So, if you are going to be in Vegas after the National Championship, believe in your Tigers, and want to have stories to tell your grandchildren (won’t be mine) then shoot me an email…with a pic! We can even get cool mugs with our picture on it.

If you want to know a little about me, I have my Facebook and Twitter links below. In short, I’m a huge Duck fan, have my own place in Portland with my English Bulldog Winston, just graduated law school, and am pretty low-key. Let’s do this, and GO DUCKSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

So, basically, he’s inviting a “cute,” “spontaneous,” “all around cool chick” for a one night stand? Sounds like. But in case she’s not that spontaneous, he offers pictures of himself and details about his life to help his fiancée make her decision before booking the flight. He also demands… several times… for pictures of his bride-to-be. He wants his trophy wife to be a literal trophy wife.

Aside from his obvious commitment issues, Tharp apparently suffers from delusions — surely an Auburn woman would not allow herself to be used as a spoil of war. I suppose she could celebrate a double-victory: after the Tigers win and Elvis unites them in holy matrimony, she could refuse the annulment and take Ryan (and his loyal dog Winston) to the cleaners.

I guess you can’t blame the guy — he’s sure to need some comfort, southern or otherwise, when that “fact” of Oregon “crushing the Auburn Tigers”, is exposed as a PAC-10 pipe dream. I’m sure he’d be really into cuddling.

H/T @htpalmer

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