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You can’t piss on Cam Newton (George Hardy won’t allow it)

Former Auburn cheerleader. Alexander City dentist. Auburn vintage fashionista. Pop culture icon. (Why yes, those ARE his dental specs.)

Cam Newton and George Hardy have two things in common. They’re both Auburn men and they’re both the best at what they do.

Cam is the best college football player in the country this year, and maybe ever.

George starred in the worst movie ever made – but it’s the best worst movie ever made… so best, so worst they made a movie about the movie: Best Worst Movie.

The 2009 documentary (just released to DVD) is about both the making of, and the cult following that has sprung up around Troll 2 (1990), the Les Miles of  horror films, which inadvertently abandons cinematic convention like plot and coherent dialog (and even a title that references the story: there are no trolls in Troll 2) with such awkward sincerity it broaches the sublime. George Hardy stars in both, first as the strong-jawed, starvation-practiced, see-no-evil dad who forces his family to endure the most ill-conceived vacation ever in Troll 2, and then in Best Worst Movie as the lovable Alexander City dentist and— it’s almost too good to be true—former mid-70s Auburn cheerleader coming to comical terms with his status as a cult film icon.

Hipsters and geeks and Joe Movie Buffs have, through the magic grapevines of what Hardy calls the “MySpace Generation,” embraced Troll 2, performing it’s most poignant scenes for each other a la The Rocky Horror Picture Show at annual viewing parties and freak fests. The catchphrase of choice for Troll 2 enthusiasts is Hardy’s most memorable line, forcefully delivered after he snaps out of a time-freezing spell put on him by his dead father-in-law, only to discover his son Joshua (Michael Paul Stephenson, who directed Best Worst Movie) urinating on a buffet of slime-covered pastries in order to keep his family from eating them and thereby summoning a pack of vegetarian goblins: “You can’t piss on hospitality! I won’t allow it!

TWER staffers recently pilgrimaged to Alexander City to interview Hardy (receiving some free dental work in the process), and we hope a fuller treatment of “the rich man’s Craig T. Nelson”—his new life in the hipster spotlight, and his old life on the Barfield “Bodda Getta” sidelines—will be featured on TWER after Auburn wins the national championship.

But in the meantime, we thought it fitting to have him send a message to all of the Thayer Evans’ and Pete Thamels and Joe Schads of the world… to all the Bryant-Denny DJs… to all the Heisman Trophy voters who pretended to make a statement with blank ballots or bogus votes… to the Oregon Ducks… to all of the trolls out there trying to keep a fellow champion down:

Here’s a 6 minute teaser for Best Worst Movie. You can buy it here. And you should.

If you like TWER and would like to help us keep the lights on and the obsession with Auburn lore unhealthy, click here.

Keep Reading:

* O Brotherman, who art thou?
* In the time of “Got 13″ she was a Tiger
* James Garner and the Auburn plaque in ‘Tank’
Alice Fraasa demonstrates the AU Gang Sign
* Auburn’s Miss Universe contestant, Audrey Moore
* Auburn amputee has tiger-striped prosthetic legs

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About Jeremy Henderson

Jeremy Henderson is the editor of The War Eagle Reader and co-host of Rich and Jeremy in the Mornings on Wings 94.3 FM in Auburn. Follow him on Twitter: @wareaglereader / @jerthoughts / @RichandJeremy

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