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Legal eagle uses poetry to sweet talk judge into BCSCG-timed stoppage

"Your honor, may I approach the bench for two tickets to the BCS Championship?"

Law is precedent. Precedent is law. Therefore: Alabama-fan attorney files for trial postponement court so he can attend last year’s National Championship game leads to Auburn-fan attorney asking for trial postponement so he and his family can travel to Glendale for this season’s National Championship game. Once open the box cannot be closed.

But an Auburn legal eagle did them all one better. LaBella Alvis pleaded her case not through legalese but through poetry. Yep, she reworked “The Night Before Christmas” and sent it to Jefferson County Judge Scott Vowell to plea for stoppage of the case in order to attend the game.

Only in Alabama. (I write that with love. Wacky, confused, sometimes horrified love.)

“January 10th is the showdown when Oregon meets its fate

But alas, this falls on the same date.

So please, please please judge

Consider my plea

‘Cause this is a game

I really want to see!”

Plaintiff’s counsel and Crimson Tide fan Patrick Lavette’s response was, of course, inspired by “Silent Night.” (That his wife is an Auburn fan kept him sympathetic.)

“Title night/Champion fight,” his version began, adding a few lines later, “Oh, what a game it could be! Especially if seen personally.”

Both sides agreed the case was not ready for trial anyway and mediation is ongoing. The lawsuit stems from injuries Hawkins said she received during a fall at an event at the BJCC.

In his order, Vowell said he’s heard some appalling excuses over the years to delay trial, such as traffic or a flat tire, but this is the first time he’s ever had Auburn football cited.

His response?

“So defendant’s motion is granted; the case will be reset

But counsel are cautioned that not on a bet

Will any further delay be made legal.

And, in closing, by the way, WAR EAGLE!”

The Auburn attorney’s poetry is obviously superior in every way to the Alabama attorney’s.

About Ben Bartley

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