Home / Columns / @kennysmith does Auburn vs. Kentucky + the rest of Saturday (with commentary by Kenny Smith)

@kennysmith does Auburn vs. Kentucky + the rest of Saturday (with commentary by Kenny Smith)

Tennessee at Georgia in the morning, Alabama at South Carolina in the afternoon and then a night of craziness as LSU visited Florida and Auburn went to Lexington looking for revenge against Kentucky.

The Twitter updates are in blockquotes. Anything that needed further thought is bold.

Football cake

Les Miles eats these. Next week he’ll try to eat the real thing. Somehow, this will win him a football game.

Mark Richt’s Bulldogs look like world-beaters today. Too bad they can’t book Tennessee for 12 games each fall.

Can anyone explain the internal logic for ESPN3 blackouts? I mean, besides there not being one?

And that was the morning, really, that and Dean Foy. In the afternoon …

Hey Alabama? South Carolina is calling. They’ve got your number.

Somebody in Columbia send me a garnett Beat Bama shirt, mmkay?

Spurrier’s back, baby!

Just saw a guy in an Auburn shirt cheering at Brice Stadium. War Eagle, sir.

When did Gary Danielson replace Barry Krauss on the Tide Network? #coloranalysthomer

Double bad news for Alabama: trailing at South Carolina and that big Penn State win looks less than impressive. Zook beat PSU badly today.

Spurrier just benched Garcia so hard in his mind … (Upon the instance of Garcia’s safety.)

When was the last time Alabama’s defense was gashed like this? Been awhile.

Ballgame. (Upon the instance of Bama failing to convert on a fake field goal.)

Danielson Summary: Bama cheats, Carolina still gets it done.

Alabama fans commence saying many things to soothe themselves for losing to Stephen Garcia.

JUST thinking that. RT @victoriacumbow @StevenStiefel I can see it on Nick Saban’s face: “Who am I gonna blame for this?”

SC beat Bama with their defensive line, wide receivers and backfield. Know who’s are as good or better? #wareagle

Tomorrow’s Tuscaloosa meme, today: Tide were looking ahead to Ole Miss.

And after that delightful mid-day diversion we come to the game of the night, Auburn at Kentucky:

I think of early drives as something Auburn refuses to prepare, opting instead for the joy and challenge of mid-game adjustments. #wareagle I’m ready for any other rationale you might have on the subject, too.

Cam Newton will trade you this stiff arm for your graham crackers. #wareagle

Meanwhile, Florida, on the alternative screen, show you why you should never wear orange jerseys.

Touchdown Auburn! If Cam has a Twitter account his new status from the sideline is “Isn’t even trying hard.” 7-7 #wareagle

Dyer, Lutzenkirchen, Dyer. Kodi Burns. Chewing up the yardage. Look for another drive or two like this before the night is over. #wareagle

@tzac81au, too, looks like he doesn’t have to run especially hard. #wareagle

TOUCHDOWN AUBURN! Cam Newton grinds out the last bit of the bluegrass. Now’s the time to set the tone for the rest of the night. #wareagle

Look at those Kentucky fans, dreaming about basketball already! #wareagle

Nick Fairley is trying out finishing moves for a potential wrestling career. #wareagle (Upon the instance of the first questionable 15-yard penalty.)

I’m thinking of inventing a candy bar and naming it after Josh Bynes. You’d buy one of those. #wareagle

Do not trick or treat Cam Newton’s place. He will just push your costumed kids to the ground like Kentucky defenders. #wareagle

That’s ridiculous. Just ridiculous. Cam Newton to Kodi Burns on the most ridiculous made up play ever. Ridiculous. #wareagle (Spurrier added it to his playbook for next week’s Kentucky game.)

Touchdown Auburn! Another play, another rushing score for Cam Newton. Three tonight as the Tigers roar out to a 21-7 lead. #wareagle (If only they did this for 60 minutes …)

Kentucky dribbles the ball and Craig Stevens recovers the fumble. First down Tigers! #wareagle

@atcrawford It wouldn’t be the most egregious MNC anyone ever counted. (He congratulated Auburn for claiming the transitive national championship for having beaten the team that beat Alabama …)

Should be 28-7, but nice to see

@wesbyrum connect to run the lead out to 24-7. #wareagle

Dear referees, @Z_Etheridge4 has been through enough. Now he’s going to go through some Wildcats. (Also, he’s still in play.) #wareagle

Dear referees, It is called gravity. And is legal. Newton (not the quarterback, the other one) wrote a law about it. #wareagle

Florida is playing LSU not to lose. Which is working into Les Miles’ oddly crafted hands.

Cam Newton is winning the Kentucky Derby. Write it down. #wareagle

Touchdown Auburn! Gus Malzahn is working in the future, driving up Newton’s stats so he can show off a Heisman to recruits. #wareagle

At the half: Tigers 31, Kentucky 17. Newton is 8-11 for 129 yards passing with 132 yards rushing and FOUR scores on 13 carries. #wareagle

So the first half of the third quarter was an excellent time to eat dinner. And if you are superstitious, I’m not having dessert. #wareagle Because my having food was clearly what caused the problem. That and whatever you were doing after the break. And whatever you’re doing, you really need to stop doing it during football because it was not helping matters.

@wesbyrum Chips one in for a score, Tigers re-take the lead 34-31. #wareagle

And we’re tied again, 34-34. I vote for a seven minute drive featuring Michael Dyer culminating in a @supurmario27 touchdown plunge.

Auburn just put us all in the uncomfortable position of Bob Davie making sense. Hate when that happens. #wareagle When Davie is talking about being sensible on kickoff returns you know you’ve over-thought a play.

We’re running yellow-37. That’s Cam scrambling around to make something happen. It is similar to colors green and red, and numbers 4-31.

@wesbyrum kicks the game winner. 37-34, WAR EAGLE, 6-0 and moving up the polls! #wareagle

LSU, with seconds left, lines up for tying field goal, fakes it, drops it, and STILL gets the 1st down. Les Miles’ soul has been sold again.

The play is being reviewed, but Les Miles is laughing because he knows the NCAA has NO RULES FOR HIS MIND.

The Auburn finish was just an inevitability and not quite as dramatic as the Florida game.

“They can spike it, run it out of bounds or throw it incomplete.” Or they can run the LESTER!

We should start to consider the possibility that Les Miles is sane and brilliant and the rest of us are crazy.

After the game Les Miles and are going to Vegas and betting it all on .5 turquoise and walking out with the roulette table! I changed the color because that makes it funnier.

Not a bad Saturday, that.

Kenny graduated from Auburn at the turn of the century. He worked in newsrooms across the region and then earned a master’s degree at UAB. He met and married a Yankee, who declared her Auburn allegiance at her first home game. She’s now on the faculty at Auburn. He’s finishing his PhD at Alabama and teaches at Samford University. See him online at www.kennysmith.org and @kennysmith.

His previous From The Tweet Seats columns can be found here.

His popular open letter to the Auburn University 2010 recruiting class can be found here.

About Kenny Smith

Check Also

That time the Atlanta Hawks, Chicago Bulls, Harlem Globetrotters, Ginny Tiu, and ‘a dancing girl who kept losing her pants’ came to Auburn

The South wasn’t big on professional basketball in the late 1960s. That was understandable—the South only …