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THE UNIFORUM: All Auburn, All Blue, All Good

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Pay no attention to the players on the sidelines whose uniforms I was too lazy to Photoshop...

By now, you have all heard the clamor and commotion regarding a mysterious, supposed shipment of blue pants to the Auburn athletic department, and by now you have all seen the (presumably) hastily taken phone camera photo of a blue Auburn helmet, taken somewhere where there is blue carpeting.

And, by now, you have all surely climbed to the nearest rooftop and shouted your opinions on the matter.

Will it happen? I don’t know. Nobody does.

Coach Chizik has shot it down in media interviews. But has he ever really come out with anything in media interviews? Some say the helmet is just a display in the athletic complex… but then why is it being removed from a box? Some say it’s just a prototype sent for kicks and giggles… but then why is it being removed from a box on the floor, if there’s just one of them? Some say it’s a miniature… But have you ever seen a chinstrap on a miniature? Some say it’s an option for the future, but won’t be done on Saturday… but do you seriously think they would do it on any other weekend besides the True Blue blue-out War Blue Eagle bluemaggedon Fearless and Blue game?

So many questions. So little answers.

But I’m just here to tell you that, either way, it’s not the end of the world.

Because nobody, even those most inclined to entreat with others to extract themselves from one’s cultivated area of grass, should really be all that against the possibility in the first place.

Even if the team comes out on Saturday in blue all the way down to their underwear, it’s nothing earth shattering. Having special alternate uniforms isn’t something that hasn’t been done before, and it certainly isn’t something that is going to evaporate a hundred years of football program’s history.

Everybody has done it. And by everybody, I mean everybody.

I don’t have to tell you that Georgia has done it three freaking times in three freaking years, but I think this happens more often than most think.

As we all know, Tennessee broke out their orange-trousered alternates again last year against Auburn (then went on to “break tradition” again with that Halloween catastrophe later in the year).

And last year, Florida and LSU both wore Nike billboards — uh, I mean, Nike Pro Combat uniforms. And Alabama is going to do the same thing later this year.

South Carolina has worn alternates over the years, and some alternate alternates, too. In 2008, Vanderbilt became the Oregon of the SEC, opening up to having nine different uniform options.

In 2009, Mississippi State brought out black jerseys against Alabama. Ole Miss seems to have at least one opponent seeing red each season. Arkansas changes its uniform pretty much every single year.

(Arkansas isn’t afraid to go monochrome, either. And Kentucky isn’t afraid to go non-monochrome.)

So, as you can see, every single team in the SEC has played around with alternate uniforms, and all within the last few years no less. The only team that seems to have never done something like this is Auburn…

Oh wait…

Traditionalists, think of it this way: It would be tradition to not break our tradition of surprise alternate uniforms.

The reality is, wearing an alternate uniform on Saturday would not be breaking that much of a tradition in the first place. We have a lot more things to be worried about than breaking a streak of wearing white-blue-white at home dating back to, oh, say, 2008 against Tennessee-Martin.

Besides, if any Auburn team from any given year is going to pull off something wild like this, wouldn’t it be this team and this year? With Gus Malzahn calling the break-neck speed no-huddle on the sideline, with Trooper Taylor waving his patented Trooper Towel, with Cam Newton the blue-chip superstar transfer, with the freshman sensation in Mike Dyer beginning his career, and with the entire team kinda sorta talking about the SEC Championship maybe a little ahead of time like they’re the collegiate version of the New York Jets (not that there’s anything wrong with that)?  These guys aren’t going to be around forever, you know.

So if the team comes out in blue helmets, blue jerseys, and blue pants, and blue socks, and blue shoes, and blue shoelaces, and with Artic Blast Gatorade, and Pat Dye Field has been dyed Boise-blue, and Cam Newton has painted his visor blue (so he can’t really see out of it but dammit it’s blue), don’t get upset and don’t be discouraged. Have fun with it. Our team will be enjoying it, and our coach will be doing whatever he can to help and make his mark on the program, and it’s all going to be a hell of a lot of fun.

And, much more likely, if they don’t do this crazy thing and just come out in the regular uniforms, you shouldn’t be disappointed, either. Just let out a little sigh of relief because it’s good ol’ Auburn and we don’t need no stinkin gimmicks and we can just get back to talking about football again and cheer the players just as loud as we have been for years. And the players will still be enjoying it, and the coaches will still be doing their best, and it’s all still going to be a hell of a lot of fun.

And we’ll all look really silly for not just listening to what Chizik has been saying all week long.

But, hey, for us dreamers, it could happen. You never know. We might actually do this blue helmet thing.

Pat Dye once famously dismissed the idea of orange jerseys, saying, “The Auburn I remember was pretty damn tough in those blue jerseys.”

But imagine how damn tough they’d be in blue helmets and blue pants, too?

Justin Lee is a third generation Auburn man and proudly makes maybe the third best Auburn music videos on the internet today. In his spare time, he is a sophomore at Auburn, majoring in journalism. Curse him at [email protected].

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