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@kennysmith does Ole Miss

It Twitter is the Haiku of social media, then @kennysmith is its Basho… if Basho was an Auburn fan. And he was.

The cl@55ic.
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Sweet Auburn! Loveliest village on the plain!

Late start this morning, but made into Jordan-Hare just in time. We were buzzed by the fighters on I85 and again just now.

Walk through the concourse portal and the crowd roars. For me? Aww. Oh, not for me.

Opening kickoff, Ole Miss fumbles! Tigers are in business at the Rebel 6.

@BrianMcAlister: First 7 seconds won by Auburn. End the game now!

They gave it back to Ole Miss. Official conspiracy!

Ole Miss has figured out that the AU linebackers can’t guard the flat. Ole Miss at the Auburn 41.

Plenty of seats still available Tiger fans. Even in the student section. Loud crowd though.

They let fans wear Halloween costumes into the stadium. A few did. Best so far: Wonderbread NASCAR driver.

Ole Miss marches (March – to strut defiantly with little resistance) 94 yards for a score. 0-7.@@

Carnell Williams and Carlos Rogers are here today. Rogers should suit up. The Redskins don’t really need him …

Ole Miss’ kicker hits the ball like me – with a five iron – 45 yards out of bounds.

Evil (and by evil I mean pass completing) Chris Todd took the first snap, found @SupurMario27 for a big gain.

Auburn’s marching! Penalty flag. To be fair they missed, badly, a late hit against Auburn’s defense

Oh my Todd! He scrambles for 10.

Drive stalls when Todd can’t hit Eric Smith. Byrum hits a 36 yard field goal. 3-7

Guy nearby: “Who invented the field goal?” Let me Google that for you … (and by Google I mean I wont.)

Neiko Thorpe almost snags an interception. Almost. Need a third and long stop

Evil Jevan Snead (and by evil I mean can’t see the LB falling into coverage) throws his second consecutive almost-pick.

This drive brought to you by a gentle and welcome gentle westerly wind.

Todd misses a wide open and streaking Terrell Zachery. Hits Ben Tate for a big first down.

Oh my Todd! He’s not an especially good backfield dancer. The ladies love him anyway.

For the first time in weeks Auburn runs a bit of Malzahn’s hustle up. Works some, too!

Tigers go for it on fourth, Ole Miss stops em, takes over at their 41. DaCoachO recruited good tacklers and Nutt coached ’em.

Kudos to @AUHD. Crazy Train plus manic Bart Simpson mask equals TERROR.

Injury timeout. Scaryish moment at midfield.

Injury upgraded to really frightening moment at midfield.

Crowd chanting for Zac Etheridge, the injured Tiger defender. They boarded him and cart him. He thumbs up. Get well big guy.

Evil Snead throws his third almost-pick. Tigers dodge a roughing the passer call.

Ole Miss is French for field goal miss. Auburn takes over at their 25; 3-7.

Todd finds Tommy Trott for the first time in ages, but they can’t connect.

Good pass defense from Ole Miss holds Auburn. Tigers will begin the second quarter with a punt.

OK Tigers. We know there’s depth issues, but we can coach walk-ons on the intricacies of pursuit angles.

Eltoro! The number 21 Tiger on the field, the number one bull in your heart

I like me some Craig Stevens too.

Ole Miss goes for it on fourth and one. Houston Nutt remembers he’s, well, Houston Nutt and calls a reverse. Rebels convert.

If I may be literary for a moment: There’s a gentleman in Section 50 who wants you to rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Word from the pressbox is that Zac Etheridge has movement in his extremeties at EAMC. War. Health.

HOT! Antoine Carter reminds Jevan Snead that he plays for Ole Miss and that his best role is as a spread for Pat Dye Field.

@AUHD in this part of the world, if it isn’t country or rock, what is “mainstream music?” #uselesspoll

Auburn starts at their own 44. From the ‘cat the Tigers lose four on first down. Know what we’re not good at? Second and long.

See? Interception. And not a deep downfield pick, but one at the line of stinking scrimmage. (It will be overturned.)

Never before have the Auburn faithful so lustily cheered a Tiger incompletion.

(Told you it would be overturned.)

Third and long gets a draw out to midfield. Not enough to move the chains, but maybe to flip the field. Rebels start at their 13.

Navy Nightmare? Not feeling it. While I prefer blue to the orange as the dominant color, I have to say Tuberville got that right.

Kimbo Slice is here. His costumed impersonator is, also, not a good cage fighter.

Dexter McCluster is amazing. The 10th guy tackled him. At least it wasn’t the 11th guy.

Give obnoxious Auburn fan this: He’s calling Ole Miss’ plays like gangbusters.

Ole Miss’ center remembers he’s Ole Miss’ center and snaps this at an unsuspecting Snead. Rebels to punt.

I like the Ole Miss band, really – from Dixie with love is stirring – but they should know you don’t play music over BO JACKSON.

Todd to T-Zach, pickup of 32 yards. Mighty fine.

This settles it, the Malzahn ludicrous speed is only used when the opponents are rattled.

TOUCHDOWN AUBURN! (It has been almost a month since we said that in earnest.) Todd to Darvin Adams, 28 yards. 10-7

Again, acknowledging that depth is an issue on special teams tackling techniques CAN BE TAUGHT to walkons.

The Auburn linebackers are now here to play. I hope they are here to stay.

This may be the loudest Jordan-Hare stadium has been for a morning kickoff in memory.

Obnoxious fan: “Send the house!” @BrianMcAlister: “Keep the play in front of you, then I’m not a coach.” Me: “That’s OK, neither is he.”

On third-and-Opelika Jevan “Pocket passer” Snead scrambles for a first.

The first question on the call in show today should be “War Eagle and all, Coach, but why can’t our corners get off blocks?”

The second question should be “How is our defensive line so well manhandled?”

War slick turf! It tackles as well as anyone.

Ref blew the fumble or incomplete call. The SEC crews this year are of ACC quality.

(Oooh. I’m getting one of those letters from the office. I can already tell…)

@AUHD shows Paul Skeleton Bear Bryant. Nice.

Ole Miss turns it over on downs with time for one Tiger play. AU goes to the kneeldown. 10-7 Tigers at the half.

I’ve just received a WDE from my father-in-law in Connecticut. Very nice!

The AU University Marching Band (see, they’re priceless, yo) is playing a Halloween theme. The flag corps has jackolantern flags.

Thriller! (But no Michael Jackson. This, in fact, Is NOT It.)

Haunted halftime they call it. The Shining, Halloween and Phantom. Second best halftime (non-Earth, Wind and Fire division) ever.

A sprinkle moved in just before the half and brought a chill with it.

http://twitpic.com/npe1c – Telestration, there’s an app for that.

It seems simple from Section 50 Obnoxious Fan: “We get the ball back to start the half, let’s go score and get up by 10.”

Tigers start the second half with the lead and on their own 24. Eric Smith helps the refs discover their penalty flags.

So after an egalitarian exchange of penalties the Tigers benefit. And promptly commit another foul.

54 yard punt. Welcome back to productivity. Ole Miss from their 16.

The other Ole Miss thing I like: The red cap with the simple blue M on the front.

Big third down here for the Auburn defense. And they hold!

The naval aviators – Auburn men – who buzzed the field and gave us all thrills in the pre-game ceremonies were just introduced.

Todd to T-Zach, who makes an improbable catch for a gain of 41 to the Rebel 20. Tate inside the 10.

The coaches, at some point, need to say that the false starts have to go, or they are a byproduct of this offense.

TOUCHDOWN AUBURN! Kodi Burns to Tommy Trott, 17-7.

They announced the attendance at 84,000plus. They did not show a closeup of the empty eastern upper deck.

Most bizarre interception EVER. Walt McFadden says TOUCHDOWN AUBURN!

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Walt McFadden for HERO.

If Auburn’s safety wishes to call himself “Darren Receiver Eater Bates” we should call his teammate “Walt Demoralizer McFadden.”

Antonio Coleman, my favorite modern Tiger, stops the Rebel drive.

You’ve never seen such a chess match as just took place in that punt formation.

TOUCHDOWN AUBURN! Ben Tate shows the speed on a 52-yard sprint. 31-7, Tigers.

Tate got to the end zone, turned around and checked his watch. His watch!

Seems like forever since I’ve heard Tiger Rag. Thanks guys!

I like the kicking it deep better. Please make a note of it Mr. Boulware.

Ole Miss returns our traditionally non-productive short kick yields into a Rebel score. 31-14.

Mr. Boulware something is wrong. You are forcing me, forcing me sir, to agree with Section 50’s Obnoxious Fan. No short kicks!

The student body has a new cheer. It involves telling folks to “shove it (SHOVE IT!) shove that ball across the line.”

Dexter McCluster’s still fast. 79 yard touchdown for the Rebs. We are in a track meet.

PAT blocked! Demond Washington returns it for the two point conversion! 33-20.

On behalf of Demond Washington and blocked PAT returners everywhere I ask “I only get two points for all that running!?!?”

Me: “What was the over/under for this game?” @brianmcalister: “I’ll take the over.”

By the way Auburn, Ole Miss is still in this game.

The referees missed three separate penalties on this punt return, against each team. Rogers Redding, you should check on this.

McCluster is a man. Unfortunately he is hurt.

RT @wennybrown Just an FYI, arm tackles don’t work.

Rebels fumble! Tigers take over. Darren Receiver Eater Bates fell on the ball. We are criticizing the review officials.

And by “WE” I mean obnoxious fan, who is embarrassing his friends. Fortunately I believe he left his kids at home this week.

Todd throws an almost-pick. Darvin Adams snags it anyway and gains 18.

(The law of averages dictate the ball has to bounce the Tigers way sometimes, no?)

Me: “Why can’t Todd deliver a better ball to @SupurMario27?” @brianmcalister: “Because Mario transcends reality.”

(Sometimes I’d buy that. Other times I’d like to see him secure the ball tighter.)

Oh my Todd! Pooch punt to the one yard line. Question the shoulder if you must, but the foot is fine.

Live by the freshman, die by the freshman.

@brianmcalister: New AU cheer: 2 bits! 4 bits! 6 bits! A dollar! All for Auburn, stand up and come play some defense, please.

I’ve had enough of Obnoxious Fan. He is talking smack, instructing Auburn’s players to not talk smack. Maroon.

@AUHD and Academy Sports asked fans for their favorite music. Results: Country, 40%. Rock, 47%. Mainstream 13%. Que?

The weather is taking cues from this game. One moment it is warm, one moment it is cold. Strange.

Obnoxious Fan does not enjoy his life. He has three kids and I can only hope he isn’t this way at their games. Sad.

Dr. Malzahn, never call that slow (as the restroom line) reverse pass play again. Kthxbye.

Auburn’s defense, Shug bless ’em, is gassed.

Antonio Coleman, still your favorite. They’re a tough bunch, these Tigers. Now if we can only shore up the technique.

I’m torn. The Ole Miss pep band is playing Dixie, which I like, but I would also like them to look away. Torn!

For Obnoxious Fan offense is simple: Don’t let the defense “adjust to it.” Somebody muzzle this guy.

@BrianMcAlister has figured out the weather mystery. It gets cold when Ole Miss gets the ball. Houston Nutt is smesmerizing us.

Fourth and the ball game for the Rebs.Let’s go Tigers!

Interference. And by interference I mean the referee.

Here’s a frightening thought: IF Ole Miss scores they line up for an onside kick. What does Auburn do?

Never mind. Interception. Walt McFadden, HERO, brings the ball out to the 35. Tigers win!

Someone just did a “Hey Houston (Nutt) we have a problem.” I like a good pun, but jeesum crow.

Livin’ on a prayer! And backups. But winning with heart again. Life is good.

Our Tigers are bowl eligible! And Georgia looks, again, like we might have a good shot.

I believe in Auburn and love it. And it has nothing to do with athletics.

33 War Eagles to 20 Giggities. 6-3 and waiting for Furman and Georgia.

http://twitpic.com/nq1su – The awesome new basketball coliseum

http://twitpic.com/nq2uf – Happy Tiger fans

http://twitpic.com/nq306 – House, protected

http://twitpic.com/nq53o – Pic with the Bear sacrilege.

Since I had a sorry excuse for a chicken sandwich in Tuscaloosa this week I must balance this experience @niffersplace in God’s country.

At @niffersplace they are calling those on the waiting list by Auburn football theme. One was false start. Ouch. #wareagle

Kenny graduated from Auburn at the turn of the century. He worked in newsrooms across the region and then earned a master’s degree at UAB. He met and married a Yankee, who declared her Auburn allegiance at her first home game. She’s now on the faculty at Auburn. He’s finishing his PhD at Alabama and teaches at Samford University. See him online at www.kennysmith.org and @kennysmith.

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